Forgotten

When I was a first grader (yeah, we didn't have kindergarten back then), I went to a neighborhood school. I don't remember how I got there each day but I do remember that I was to wait on the sidewalk in front of the school each afternoon for my dad to pick me up. Most days he arrived right on time, I jumped in the car, and we went home to my mother and little brother.

Occasionally, it did not go as smoothly. Daddy was a minister and he would get busy studying in his office, or talking with people, or with other ministerial tasks and before you know it, 2:30 had come and gone and I was still standing on the sidewalk waiting. Mother tried an alarm clock in his office, but he would forget to set it. She tried calling him to remind him, but if he wasn't in the office he couldn't get the call (yeah, we didn't have cell phones back then either).

And so I would wait, until the nose of his car was just visible down the street, and I would sigh a huge sigh of relief. Daddy was here and I was not forgotten after all.

One of the scripture readings in our Bible study this week is Matthew 6:1-4, where we are told to do our good deeds in private to receive our reward from the Father who sees all.

At first glance, this doesn't seem to have much to do with the theme of forgotten. Until I went through the 5P's...and really listened to what God was speaking to my heart about my own fears of being forgotten.

On the surface, this scripture speaks to our motives for doing good. Do we do it for the accolades or admiration of others? If so, then we have received our reward. But when we bless others without making a big deal over it, the Father who sees all IS making a big deal over it. He may or may not choose to use it for our public recognition...but you can rest assured that He has seen it and He is preparing the reward.

When I dug a little deeper and really listened for God to speak, what I heard was that sometimes our brokenness makes us feel...my brokenness makes me feel...as if we have been forgotten by everyone, even by the Father. And so we are compelled to do our good deeds in front of others. We may even go to the trouble of writing our own headlines about the good we have done and the people we have helped.

And yet, it occurs to me that the headlines just continue to mask our fear of being forgotten...and so the cycle continues.

I have to remind myself that fear is from the enemy. My Father sees all and knows all. His love for me knows no end. I am His daughter, a princess. His eyes are always on me. So even on the days when I may be left sitting on the sidewalk, He knows.

And I am not forgotten after all.